@clindsaysway: Never tell a woman you're infatuated with her. All she'll hear is "fat".
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@WilliamRodgers: I'm 30 years old and I've watched Frozen 18 times this week... For those of you out there thinking about having unprotected sex tonight...
@RdrJay47: There is a mile long line of cars stopped ahead, but go ahead and honk at the guy in front of you. It might help.
@MartaEffing: *leaning seductively, slowly dragging fingertip across countertop* Me: how much for the entire case? Donut shop clerk: ma'am, $8.99 a dozen