@clindsaysway: Never tell a woman you're infatuated with her. All she'll hear is "fat".
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@GinGander: I watched her squeeze into the booth, finish 3 Egg McMuffins, & stand-up. "My knees are killing me, it must be the cold weather," she said.
@Terdoh: I typed "Cigarettes" in the search bar and it said "No Matches". The universe has spoken.
@markydoodoo: DAVID BLAINE: *cracks open egg, butterfly flies out* ME: cmon man DB: *cracks open 2nd egg, 9 of clubs pops out* ME: I'm so hungry, David
@BastardProphet: I don't have many enemies because I'm funny and sweet and they all died in mysterious fires.