@MollySneed: Never tell someone that it would work out if "only they lived closer". Crazy can change zip codes faster than you can change your identity.
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@stanleybehrman: If she boasts how adult coloring is therapeutic and has made her more tolerant and patient Hide her markers And wait...
@pleatedjeans: Wife: for the last time buy a terrarium Me: [drops 7 lizards into my shirt] why they already have a home
@UncleDuke1969: My daughter, filling out a college app, called me at home to get my home number. Big shout out to the ex-wife for pissing in my gene pool.
@tsm560: Wishing for bad shit to happen to people you hate is so wrong. You gotta be way more proactive than that.