@cynicanoldicus: Never threaten anyone. It spoils the surprise.
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@david8hughes: To the guy who just sent me a Snapchat of him putting his ketchup in the refrigerator, well done. You've made a powerful enemy.
@AdamOfEarth: [Heart: Tell her her eyes are windows into eternity, filled with fire... Brain: Beacons, stars in a vast darkness] Mouth: HEY GREAT EYEBALLS
@Book_Krazy: Me: What were you and daddy just laughing about? 9: You Me: What about me? 9: You won't think its as funny as we do
@iLikeCatShirts: Boss: what should we call the lower cabinet in the corner that swivels? Bonnie (who hates Susan): I have an idea.