@cynicanoldicus: Never threaten anyone. It spoils the surprise.
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@WittySassBasket: H: this may be difficult, but you're pregnant. *flips table* *punches mirror* THAT IS THE LAST TIME I BUY CLEAN URINE OFF CRAIG'S LIST!
@marebytes: Maybe my mom was right all those years ago. Maybe I won't be happy until someone loses an eye. Maybe that's what's been missing.