@ceejoyner: Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent's face there is no known comeback.
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@Mikecanrant: I can only handle so much of a screaming kid on a long car ride before I pull over, take them off the roof, and let them back in.
@fro_vo: FLIGHT ATTENDANT: sir we're going to have to ask you to leave ME: but they are my emotional support bees
@TheAlexP: *drunkenly sliding down telephone pole wearing oven mitts* Cop: Sir? May I ask you what you're doing? I'm a sexy fireman, rawr.
@CharmandBrains: A required corporate training course said to build strong relationships. Also, HR told me it's "inappropriate" to kiss strangers.