@ristolable: Never tip a cow more than 15%.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DomBorrett: Christmas is becoming more and more commercialised every year. Pushing up prices in every sector This tweet is brought to you by Tesco
@BrainFumbles: Cop: Know why I pulled u over? Me: [slams fist on dash] NO, WHY?! Cop: Settle down sir Me: [marries, has kids, gives up ambitions] Cop: ...
@Jacob_Swift16: When I was a child someone shot me with a flare gun and I've been absolutely fabulous ever since