@ristolable: Never tip a cow more than 15%.
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@JimmerThatisAll: It's raining men because the aliens are returning the abductees in the most compelling way possible.
@notacroc: [restaurant] ME: *reading menu* how's the chicken parm? OUR WAITER, TONY THE TIGER: it's grr- MANAGER: *glares at Tony* TONY: it's exquisite