@daplusk: Never trust a homeless person selling warm lemonade
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@BoogTweets: Me: I have bad news about Bob. Friend: Bob from work or Bob that always fakes his own death? Me: *Drops shovel* Ut oh…
@SuperRandomish: [Morgan Freeman narrating my life] *extended period of silence* "What the hell am I supposed to do with this..."
@batkaren: Welcome to Super Villain University. Please refer to the enclosed packet for a sample course offering: