@daplusk: Never trust a homeless person selling warm lemonade
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@Mr_Kapowski: [calls wife from store] "Are you in more of a frolicking or jumping in the air mood? There's so many tampon choices"
@BarryVonAwesome: The Hurricane came through here like a tornado -Lady on the News just now I don't want to live on this planet anymore
@Vinnie_Maselli: [holds up bread] "This is my body" [holds up wine] "this is my blood" [holds up puppy] "and this is my new pet" [apostles go fricken nuts]