@audipenny: Never trust a man wearing more than 0 necklaces
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@LionJenkins: Dear Adobe, In all the times I've been to the circus I've never seen an Acrobat Reading.
@SondraDeeMe: My Medical Emergency Contact is a girl from college who promised she'd pluck any stray hairs off my face if I slipped into a coma.
@duplicitron: I accidentally grabbed the wrong shopping cart but am hoping this kid will stop screaming soon because I am not raising a cry baby.