@KeetPotato: never trust a person who says they don't like chocolate, even dogs eat chocolate and it kills them
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@EndhooS: [Looking at ultrasound monitor with my wife] Wife: Look at it's little heart beating! Isn't it amazing... Me: It looks like a crossiant
@Reverend_Scott: RANGER: watch out for wolves ME: oh ya? RANGER: so relentless- [wolf runs up w/ bible] HAVE U HEARD ABOUT OUR LORD & SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST
@XplodingUnicorn: Maybe there is no baby I'm starting to suspect my wife's been stuffing her shirt with an increasingly large series of hams Now I'm hungry.