@DaddyJew: Never trust a psychic wearing a band-aid, they should have seen that shit coming.
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@aka_fatman: "I have a hard time with faces. One time I mistook a wolf for my dead grandmother LOL!" - Little Red Riding Hood, talking to a coat rack.
@notacroc: TIM: how are you? ME: it's Monday TIM: yeah ME: the sun is up TIM: are u just listing facts? ME: lettuce is a member of the sunflower family
@XplodingUnicorn: Dear Britain, This Brexit vote is all wrong If you want to leave the EU, dump some tea in the harbor and fight a war. Sincerely, America
@jumpdashark: "I don't think you're ready for this jelly." ~ me talking shit to my peanut butter sandwich.