@sameblacklist: Never trust an anti-aging lotion that has an expiry date.
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@usermcuserface: Remember when you were a kid and the teacher said you can be anything you want to be? Luckily I chose lower middle class and overweight.
@PastorBate: [crowded elevator] Alright I'm a little concerned about the capacity so let's all go around and say how much we weigh *gets out calculator*
@andylassner: Never trust anyone who says you need to come out of your shell because let's start with the fact that they think you're a turtle
@TitansHomer: Boss: John, tell me your greatest weakness Me: Honesty B: I don't think that's a weakness M: I don't give a shit what you think.