@sameblacklist: Never trust an anti-aging lotion that has an expiry date.
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@Izianikapani: My sexual orientation is definitely Landscape. I dabbled with Portrait but my legs got tired.
@Spaced_Cowboy00: If you're not sure how to spell a word, there are thousands of English professors on Twitter who will correct you.
@Douchekevin: My GFs good traits: Young, gorgeous, incredible in bed and has a dragon Bad traits: Imaginary- but I overlook these because of the dragon
@MichaelTrying: The worst part of being named Michael is repeatedly being broken up with via a text that states *drops Mike*