@andylassner: Never trust anyone who says you need to come out of your shell because let's start with the fact that they think you're a turtle
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@causticbob: I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago. Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.
@Douchekevin: I saw 300 lbs crammed into a pair of small yoga pants so now I understand how the Tardis on Dr. Who is real.