@BDGarp: Never trust your kids. You know who their parents are.
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@Marlebean: Interviewer: Do you have any questions? Me: Truth or dare I: M: I:.. Dare M: I dare you to give me this job I:(under breath) Damn she's good
@ajax06: My favorite thing to say to old people is, "When I was your age I didn't believe in reincarnation either".
@TheToxicWaster: I walked a girl down into the dark woods. She said it's very scary. I said how do you think i feel i have to walk back alone..