@VerbsRProudest: Never underestimate mothers. They can turn "mayhem" into "ma'am" with one narrowed glance.
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@doguacate: when interviewing a person for a dog walking position, you must make absolutely certain that given the chance, the applicant won't eat a dog
@Tbone7219: Thanks for the 27 hashtags describing your pic otherwise I would have never known it's a hamburger
@ceejoyner: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone if you want babies throwing rocks everywhere. Dangerous.
@ericsshadow: DOCTOR: If you don't exercise, there's really no point in dieting. ME: I can't wait to tell my wife the good news.