@khook32: Apparently telling the principal that "it's not cheating, it's cooperative learning" was the wrong thing to say.

@bourgeoisalien: PRESIDENT OBAMA: I pardon this turkey- TURKEY: Nope. I'm ready. 2016 was a shit show. Kill me now

@boring_as_heck: "hey we use animals for literally everything else in our lives. lets use our feet for cars." idiot flintstones. no wonder you're extinct.

@Jake_Vig: INTERVIEWER: According to your resume, you like to "move it move it." ME: That's correct. I: It goes on like for... 30 pages. M: And?

@upsidedowntrash: You: *sneezes* Me: [hears phrases incorrectly but appropriates them anyway] kazoo night.