@InternetHippo: MAFIA BOSS (ominously): Take him out ME: What if he's already seeing someone MAFIA BOSS: Well then you have to respect that relationship

@AmericanGent69: Saying "oh my gosh you're getting so big!" is cute and acceptable to say to a 6 year old. Not so much to an ex-girlfriend.

@Sickayduh: At 14 I asked my dad about a tattoo. He said ok as long as I got it someplace that doesn't matter. So I got it in Detroit.

@meatlobes: *waits for you to fall asleep* *rolls out from under your bed* *moisturizes your knees and elbows*

@andylassner: A Morning After pill but for over eating.