@retardedwriter: Never understood the desperation behind placing ur order in English at KFC/McD. Heard a guy practicing his order while sanding in the queue.
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@eskimo_tekillya: I recently bought a corset to spice up my sex life. Once I've learned how to breathe in the damn thing I'll tell you how it worked out.
@just1fool: I just want to make you hot. Mess your hair up. Get your blood flowing. When I chase you around the house over the last piece of pizza.
@goldengateblond: Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs? It's a baby, not a stash of heroin.
@DirtMcTurd: My wife said I couldn't finger paint and also she says that "Paint" is a stupid name for our cat