@billmaher: New evidence shows #marijuana not only helps with cancer side effects but may fight cancer itself! Oh pot, is there anything u can't do?
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@Discourt: My 4yo brought his Woody doll to the store and was swinging it around. I told him loudly to stop hitting people with his Woody. Parenting.
@Sarcasticsapien: Coworker: Are you seeing anyone? Me: Unfortunately. CW: Then why are you dating her? Me: No, I meant you're standing in front of me.
@Coolisiana: (Job interview) "How would you describe yourself?" I'm very vague "Ok, can you be more specific?" No