@billmaher: New evidence shows #marijuana not only helps with cancer side effects but may fight cancer itself! Oh pot, is there anything u can't do?
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@10InchesPlus: A TV show where customers get to hear what employees said 10 seconds after they left the store.
@ScottLinnen: WHAT are birds so happy about at 7am? What? Oh, right. Pooping while airborne. Good one.
@KalvinMacleod: ME: my wife eats all the caramel corn and leaves the cheese JUDGE: give this man full custody of the kids ME: no wait they do the same thing
@JamesCoolie: The problem with Quotes on #Twitter is that... it is so difficult to tell if they are Genuine - William Shakespeare