@YoungNobler: New Facebook technology can identify faces with 97.25% accuracy, and then ask you if you want to tag that statue in the background.
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@teenpuke: do you qualify to be my crush? *pulls out list* *checks off has a beating heart* yup you qualify
@JMFingSparks: 5yo: *smells glue stick* Me: DON'T BE SMELLING THAT!! 5yo: it smells like strawberries! Me: give me that...*smells glue stick*