@YoungNobler: New Facebook technology can identify faces with 97.25% accuracy, and then ask you if you want to tag that statue in the background.
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@weinerdog4life: When I turn on the lights all of the dads scatter off of my deck, the fat dads can't get over the fence
@themorris23: In the car and passed by a cop and my 12 year old says "everyone be cool! Act normal!"nnnExpecting that Father of the Year award any day now
@LuvPug: Waiter: Can I get you something to drink? Me: just cheese dip Waiter: .... Me: With a straw please