@YoungNobler: New Facebook technology can identify faces with 97.25% accuracy, and then ask you if you want to tag that statue in the background.
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@close_c: You know you're a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out"
@Vice_Queen: So your face, is it permanently like that or are you genuinely surprised every time you take a selfie?
@Piecezilla: [Jogs to a halt in front of you minutes after a fire truck passes]That guy's (panting) never gonna sell any fire (panting) driving that fast