@indecision: New healthcare plan in case Obamacare is defunded: the entire country pays for hospital bills by cooking meth.
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@Brampersandon_: ME (wakes up from coma): whatve I missed WIFE: Trump's running for prez & the Cubs are favs to win the World Series M: haha ok but srsly tho
@DaHess1: If bank website ads have taught me anything it's that white people love drinking coffee as they pay bills online in an empty loft apartment.
@rachelle_mandik: HIM: Hi, I'm Bill. ME: Hi, I'm...oh shit this is embarrassing. I'm not really good with names.