@indecision: New healthcare plan in case Obamacare is defunded: the entire country pays for hospital bills by cooking meth.
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@ihateitmunky: Coffee dates are my favorite because you can just pour it on yourself as an excuse to leave
@thejamietighe: In a car crash a dog would rescue you. However a cat would pour liquor over your face and testify against you in court.
@MrAaronAbrams: I made fun of a lady swaddling her dog in a blanket and she overheard and turns out it wasn't a dog it was her baby hey have a great Monday.