@FilthyRichmond: New hobby: Swap text for sponsored ads
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@Shock_Monster: Hush little baby, Don't say a word. Daddy's gonna buy you a bunch of crap so he doesn't have to hear your incessant whining ya spoiled brat.
@ericsshadow: [anniversary dinner] HER: tell me something that will make my heart race ME: my credit card got declined
@ohthatbadger: X: I hate when the cat just stands like that, frozen. Why does he do that? Me: He's on paws. X: … Me: 😁 On… paws. X: I hate you so much.