@AGreaterMonster: New law restricts lobbyists to the lobby. Citizen victory! Writing laws a bit less convenient! The lobby lobby, however, has won the day.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Gonna teach a bunch of old white guys the word "bae" so teens stop thinking it's cool and it goes away forever.
@Brianhopecomedy: Came back from the doctor and told my wife that I was perfectly healthy and I could've sworn she mouthed the word "crap".
@trojansauce: ME: *vaping* FRIEND: is that just a fountain pen? ME: *ink all over my teeth* nope