@Michael1979: New poster I stuck up at my local train station. I'm looking forward to catching up with everyone.
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@BuckyIsotope: Cookie Monster delivering the eulogy at Bert's funeral. Head bowed low. Stillness. "Me want cookies," he sadly intones. "Me want cookies."
@jergarl: Wife: What ARE you doing? Me: [pelvic thrusting around the kitchen] Gettin jiggy wit it what's it look like? W: Making the dog nervous.
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: what's your biggest weakness? Dwayne Johnson: *sweating nervously* certainly not paper that's for sure
@1CleverClogs: I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you'd better do what I meant and not what I said.