@birbigs: New slogan for cats: "Ever go to the zoo and want to snuggle a tiger but don't want to die? Cats."
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@withanewname: Her: *leaving seductively, slowly dragging fingertip across countertop* Mgr: What'd she want? Me: nothing. Mgr: Where're all the donuts?
@MollyERA: "IF YOU'RE HAVING KNITTING PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON--" "stop rapping, Grandma" "--I GOT 99 PROBLEMS AND A STITCH AIN'T ONE"
@spookperson: white people eradicated entire populations for spices and yet the bay leaf remains a mystery
@RoosterMustache: *emailing professor after exams* it hAs been An Awesome And greAt yeAr thAnks for the AmAzing clAss you hAve tAught me A lot