@birbigs: New slogan for cats: "Ever go to the zoo and want to snuggle a tiger but don't want to die? Cats."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@trentistweeting: "doctor, help! my son shattered one of his kneecaps!" it's ok, the human body can survive on one kid-knee
@AmericanGent69: Co-Worker: Poor John has been single forever. We should set him up. Me: *hiding cocaine and a gun in his office desk* I’m on it.
@MsanthropyVani: Them: Help! A poisonous snake bit me! Me: oh shit. Umm. So. The word you're looking for is venemous. Don't feel bad, it's a common mistake.