@FunnyOrDieNews: News Flash: Netflix Allows Employees One Year Maternal And Paternal Leave
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@PJTLynch: Annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there's always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time
@bitterADDitude: Hair in bun=housework Hair in ponytail=oral sex Body language is important-So he doesn't get excited when I'm about to 2 scrub the toilet
@david8hughes: You can't keep eating people's lunches from the break room & blaming the Taliban. A lot of what you've been stealing is pork for one thing.