@SocialustGal13: News is reporting a nun just had a baby. It's official, a nun is getting more action than me.
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@richardosman: My answer to the question "where would you most like to work?" is the same as to the question "what's your favourite dog?" Chocolate lab.
@KeetPotato: me: "i re-wrote pulp fiction" director: "wow ok" [reads script] "this is literally just pulp fiction" me: "i didnt say it was different"
@fubwat: "Can I have a pound of onions please." "Sorry sir, it's kilos these days." "oh, ok, can I have a pound of kilos please."