@Dutch_50: Newspapers are cool because you can cut out eye holes and spy on people. Try that with an iPad.
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@SuitableHolmes: Words can not even begin to describe your beauty and how much I need to borrow your car.
@Danny_McH2O: I like that the doctor always asks if I'm a smoker. When I say yes, he tells me I should quit. No shit? Thanks. Here's all my money.
@EyeSeeYou619: Skrillex sounds like that time I threw a bag of beer bottles into an empty dumpster & a homeless dude yelled jibberish at me for waking him.