@Rrrrnessa: Next dude that complains about the friendzone will be step-son zoned. I will literally marry your dad and step-son zone you. Try me.
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@Donna_McCoy: You can tell a lot about a person by how early their neighbors call the cops on Thanksgiving.
@NicestHippo: *walks into son's room to find a recording of him snoring* Dear God *dials 911* Help, a wizard turned my son into a 90's cassette player
@EamonToPlease: [baby is bouncing in swing seat] I I wish I had one of those. HER DAD They bring great joy. I (to self) Oh, he thinks I mean a baby.