@trevso_electric: Next on CNN, 600 hours of guessing what happened to a plane.
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@Mikecanrant: Pretty upset to find out that salmonella poisoning has nothing to do with a vindictive fish named Ella.
@Adar79Angie: I wish my car ran on shattered dreams instead of gas. I'd be able to make it to Canada on my failed ninja goals alone.
@juneohara65: The conditions inside my car have drawn attention from my boyfriend, my mother, and the Center for Disease Control.
@moose_chocolate: I'm a slow runner unless I think I left my phone unlocked in the next room, in which case I'm Usain Bolt.