@jasonroeder: Next time a conspiracy theorist says, "That's what they want you to think," say, "No, but that's what they wanted you to tell me."
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@dshack8: 2nd Rule of Parent Club: If your kid suddenly says "I think I'd better wash my hands", don't question them. I repeat, DO NOT QUESTION THEM.
@mommy_cusses: *Me, getting my arm bitten off during a zombie apocalypse* 5: *crying* Me: It's okay, son. 5: You said you were gonna get me a snack.