@jasonroeder: Next time a conspiracy theorist says, "That's what they want you to think," say, "No, but that's what they wanted you to tell me."
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@arielleBigBlue: If I could, I would avoid every conversation by making that beeping truck sound while slowly backing away from people as they approach me.
@secondofhername: The downside of studying law: you think a lawsuit is the solution to all problems. *resists from threatening Dominos for not giving oregano*
@dumbbeezie: If my boss catches me surfing the internet, I make sure I have a screen open to a big box of tampons from Amazon and he leaves me alone