@longwall26: Next time a job interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years, say "Why TELL you when I can SHOW you?" then just sit there for 5 years.
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@yendys1: Michael Cera, too timid to send his food back even though he's allergic to almonds, eats a meal and politely goes into anaphylactic shock.
@Sickayduh: A sitar solo so complex and mind melting that the one guy who knows what a sitar is claps
@TheDizzyBeauty: Thank God for semi colon's. How would I have ever been able to flirt if they didn't exist?