@longwall26: Next time a job interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years, say "Why TELL you when I can SHOW you?" then just sit there for 5 years.
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@Storminika: The rodents in my home are so damn big, they step in the glue traps and wear them like flip-flops around the house.
@topaz_kell: And suddenly those annoying neighbors that leave their Christmas lights up all year long look like geniuses.