@TinaMav: Next time a stranger talks to me when I'm alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper "You can see me?"..
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@Jade_VK: "This soup was so good I wish I could just...NOMCRNCHNCH" *chewing glass* "There must be a better way!" -Inventing the bread bowl
@pbear79: I asked a waiter how they prepare their chicken. He said... "Meh, nothing special. We just straight out tell them they're going to die."
@Mr_Kapowski: Why does the airport entice me and call it a baggage carousel if I'm not allowed to ride on it?
@Brianhopecomedy: Came back from the doctor and told my wife that I was perfectly healthy and I could've sworn she mouthed the word "crap".