@Henry_3k: Next time at a public swimming pool just stop, look around & ask yourself: "Is there anyone here that I would want to take a bath with?"
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@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Tell me a scary story! Me: One time little people popped out of your mom and they never stopped asking questions. 4: Why?
@okimstillhungry: Me on Masterchef: Ive made a roasted pork kebab breaded with buttermilk cornbread and served with a tomato reduction Them: This is a corndog