@madamezooble: Next time someone knocks on your bathroom stall say "Sorry, I'm with a client."
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@RyanHolmquist: Castro: I will not die until America is destroyed Trump: I'm gonna be the president Castro: well then
@raniao2011: I don't hold grudges or plot for revenge, I will simply send a bunch of Jehovah's witnesses to your door...on a daily basis.
@gobmentcheese: In a crowded elevator, tell all the tall people they have to get in the back because you're going to take a group photo.
@weinerdog4life: I'd like you to meet my family, my wife Sharon, my son Carl, and this balloon that follows me around