@madamezooble: Next time someone knocks on your bathroom stall say "Sorry, I'm with a client."
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@ericsshadow: I wear the same 2 Halloween costumes every year. I start off as a "ghost" and end up as a "drunk ghost that needs a ride home."
@trojansauce: DAVE: sorry im late alvin needed me DATE: is that your son? DAVE: for the last time gwen, he's the lead singer in the chipmunk band i manage
@Reverend_Scott: I wonder if anyone besides me has the bumper sticker, "Proud parent of your wife's kid."