@gingerfaced: Next time you get in a fight with your girl.. Go tighten all the lids on the jars.
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@ThisLocalHater: [pouring another round of shots for my dolls] What do you mean isolated and unstable?
@TabooBooSF: My husband suggested I tone down the Botox and just age gracefully. And I laughed and laughed. But didn't scowl. Cuz Botox.
@JWilsonGA: Wife: Your PMS jokes aren't funny. Me: I can't help it, they just flow out of my mouth. Wife: ... Me: Fine. No more. Period. Wife: *eyeroll*
@Briidashian: Why do I have to use leaves as toilet paper when I go camping while we have bears out there using Charmin?