@silent_musings: Next time you see someone you don't like, begin conversation with "I see the assassins have failed."
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@BDGarp: Me: Have fun on your date. Son: What if she drinks too much, or gets high? Me: You really aren't my kid are you?
@rolldiggity: 1. Hide babies all over house. 2. If a kid asks, "Where do babies come from?" laugh, "Where DON'T they come from!" and open every cabinet.