@silent_musings: Next time you see someone you don't like, begin conversation with "I see the assassins have failed."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@rdthought: Girlfriend: Stop lying around on the couch all day. Me: But you said we needed to start conserving energy.
@iRowlf: I'm sorry that I gave your baby a wine cooler. I forgot that I superglued a mustache on him earlier and thought he was of legal age.