@silent_musings: Next time you see someone you don't like, begin conversation with "I see the assassins have failed."
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@lilgapeach32: Stop, collaborate and listen. Manda's back with news from the kitchen. Calories grab a hold of me tightly I want nachos daily and nightly...
@david8hughes: [bday party] Mum: happy birthday son Me: wow that's a huge cake! Mum: its full of bees Me: what Mum [backing away]: I said it's cream cheese
@vikkaroni: My nose won't stop running. But, to be fair, it's the only part of my body that's still in shape.