@thesulk: Next time you're on an elevator with a stranger say, "If the doors open and it's all zombies, let's team up."
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@GaryJanetti: I hope one day to have the chance to whisper "what's she doing here?" to the person next to me at a funeral.
@ImaFlyontheWall: Him:Dude, I went on one of those police ride alongs with my friend..it was awesome! You ever done that? Me: In the front or back of the car?
@LaetPO: Marriage is so disrespected as an institution nowadays that soon brides may be tossing the groom and keeping the bouquet.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: You can just keep that pen. Coworker: Sure? Me: Yeah. I noticed you don't wash your hands in the restroom. Cw.. Me: I told everyone.