@VodkaThursday: Next wedding Im saying its a open bar but when u get there its going to be cash.Just b/c its a 3rd wedding doesnt mean u can skip it slacker
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@Vodkantots: If a guy doesn't return your texts for 4 months, it might be over. It probably isn't, but it might be.
@ArfMeasures: ME [trying to convince her I care] I'm so angry the big bed cushions haven't arrived WIFE: Throw pillows M: I'm that angry Karen, I might do
@wankcity: "more like president PAJAMA" *obama jumps into pj's, congress full of 12 year olds is pleased*