@kwirkyKerri: Nice cargo shorts. You may want to dial back that awesome a little. Not really sure how much I can take.
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@dafloydsta: Genie: Sure about this? Me: C'mon do it Genie: It's your last wis- Me: I WANNA BE RICH Genie: Alakazam! Hi Rich, I'm Genie
@FlyoverJoel: Civil War reenactments are a lot like meetings. You do the same thing over and over again while waiting for your turn to die.
@jazmasta: Dear iPhone, I have typed "haha" like a million times, but yet you continually give me "haga", "hsha", "gaga", "hahss", "hahs" I hate you