@GrantTanaka: Nice Confederate flag bro, way to commemorate coming in second place in a civil war.
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@larasjeansong: parents: you were such a smart kid what happened??!? me: your child died and was replaced by a lookalike; a conspiracy theory thread
@novicefather: Past employers have described me as "selfish, egotistic, condescending, the physical manifestation of capitalism, and a true sweetheart."