@MattMcC1: "nice dog or cat or baby or whatever" i offer politely, my eyes scanning the room for the taco dip. "was it expensive?"
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@robfee: The prequel to 16 & Pregnant could be called "15 & Fully Trusted By Her Parents to Make Good Decisions, We Love You Brittani."
@garrydavenport: Next time my 5 y/o says "Daddy, guess what?", I'm going to refuse to let her continue until I can actually guess, even if it takes 7 years.
@LionJenkins: Me: *Wrong Turn Siri: Recalculating Route Me: *Wrong Turn Siri: Recalculating Route Me: *Wrong Turn Siri: You're on your own, Idiot.
@ilovepie84: The best way to see if someone is telling the truth is to tie them to a chair and start up the ol chainsaw.