@Maui_Speaks: Nice Fitbit bro. I didn't realize that they had a model you can wear around your ankle.
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@1followernodad: the thing about the weather getting colder is that it makes you think you want to date someone when what you want is heavy socks
@JD_KC: The lady helping my wife design a dining room table handed me a note reading "blink if you're being held against your will"
@briancthayer: [house hunting] Friend: *hurls spear into vinyl siding* GOT ONE! Me: *hacking at brick siding w/ sword* GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME!