@iRowlf: Nice hourglass figure, girl. Wanna come back to my place and stand on your head so my friends and I can keep time while we play Pictionary?
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@ihuffpaint: what do you mean I never take you anywhere we just took a 365 day trip around the sun
@bobvulfov: MUGGER: give me ur wallet ME: stand back i have mace MUGGER: [sniffing] is this cookies-scented febreze
@1Happytwit: Kids don't scare me cause their little arms aren't strong enough to swing a chainsaw.
@krisv_723: Sometimes when I'm driving I'm overcome with an urge to run into an overpass pillar. Anyway, I'm Kris & I'll be your Uber driver.