@trevso_electric: Nice job Instagramming your plane ticket with enough personal information to take out a mortgage in your name.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Me: (squeezing into a gown) I'm so sick of the fashion industry. Who do you even make these clothes for? Children? Disney Store clerk: Yes.
@BaileysIrishTom: What's the best way to remove a grass stain? Alcohol? I don't see how getting drunk will help, but whatever.
@Sickayduh: Her: I think you're getting too into those Hobbit movies Me: *stops gluing a beard on the baby* what?
@wettbutt: heres law school: "sustained" is basically "settle down beavis." "overruled" also means "settle down beavis," but to the other guy instead