@trevso_electric: Nice job Instagramming your plane ticket with enough personal information to take out a mortgage in your name.
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@awesomelocks: Woman: The bees are dying. random male: I don't know what kind of men YOU hang out with but I'M not killing bees.
@hipstermermaid: I need a punctuation mark that is halfway between a period and an exclamation point so I can answer texts without sounding bored or insane.
@WilliamAder: Boss set out a bowl of hard candy in the break room, so I guess we had our Christmas party today.