@KenJennings: Nice job, whoever chose the word "monosyllabic" for that.
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@Bandersnaaatch: There's a bird in the yard and she's shaking her tail feathers in hope of attracting a mate. HE SHOULD LOVE YOU FOR YOUR BRAIN, I yell.
@Steelers1972: Three things that are certain in life~ 1) Death 2) Paying taxes 3) Somewhere a woman is pissed at a man ....
@SteveSuckington: "I love you. I'd do anything for you." -let me see your phone real quick "You're smothering me. I need some space"
@clindsaysway: The rare times my cat approaches me for affection, I run away and hide under the bed so she knows what that feels like.