@SonOfCha: Nice tan. I'm guessing your mother is white & your father's a sweet potato?
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@Instinctivetip: [marriage counselling] Her: he always thinks he's talking to me on CB radio Me: I don't, over Her: It's over Me: It's what? Over
@Kyle_Lippert: If you put your face really close to a neck tattoo & slowly pull away, you can see a hidden design of the unemployment office.
@Sirrruh: My friend Stephen misheard me when I invited him to this CrossFit gym. He's going to have a hell of a time running in stilettos.
@TySmithdrums: "I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE," I scream, as a sudden gust of wind blows the spider I threw outside onto my face.