@5hael: NICE TO MEAT YOU, I scream as I throw slices of salami at strangers
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@Jake_Vig: THERAPIST: You're cured. ME: Really?!? THERAPIST: No, of course not. How did that make you feel?
@Vodkantots: It's like my mother always told me, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." Then she said I looked fat.
@timdonakowski: Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish in highly-contaminated water, feed him for a day.
@taylortomlinson: I like horror movies because it's the only place insanely hot people are treated poorly