@5hael: NICE TO MEAT YOU, I scream as I throw slices of salami at strangers
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@MrsGoose69: Don't give a women flower, she may have hay fever. Don't give her chocolate, she may be on a diet! Give her wifi so there's no excuse.
@KarlreMarks: The only thing we know for certain about Macron is that he is 39 years old and even that will probably change next year.
@SoVeryBritish: Procedure for being unthanked for door holding: 1. Keep eyes fixed on culprit 2. Say you're welcome 3. Shake head 4. Mutter "unbelievable"
@iGreenMonk: You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they're trying on clothes in the fitting room.