@5hael: NICE TO MEAT YOU, I scream as I throw slices of salami at strangers
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@LaBaPete: Not everyone understands my laundry method. It's simple. If it's clean, it's on the floor. If it's dirty, it's on the floor over there.
@bourgeoisalien: if ghosts r real why are there no dinosaur ghosts? think about that, but u won't bc i just blew your mind with something called logic, idiot
@FunkyFresh_79: [on a first date] Ok, don't let her know you're really a squirrel... Her: I had a great time, good night! Me: *runs in front of her car
@stevetweeters: Oops. Everyone brought their "see you next year"s to work today and I only brought my throat slashing gesture.