@junejuly12: Nice try cereal but everyone knows that the real breakfast of champions is three chocolate glazed donuts.
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@LeBearGirdle: Doctor: I'm sorry son, it appears you have... Jenga-itis Me: [trying to pull the doctor's shoes off without him falling over] is it bad?
@Parkerlawyer: I bought myself flowers at the store because I thought they were pretty. Husband: Did I do something? Me: No. Husband: What’s the date? Me: April 10th. Husband: Is that an important date signifying anything? Me: No. Husband: Are you sure? Me: Yes. Husband, sweating: ok
@rachelle_mandik: him: are you going to scarborough fair? me: yeah. him: if you see my ex, ask her to make me a shirt and buy me some land? me: dude, wtf?
@dafloydsta: [spelling bee] Your word is 'sarcasm' "Can you use it in a sentence?" Ooooo I would love to