@badbanana: Nice try, Clooney "wedding." I know a casino heist when I see one.
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@nettie0918: That moment the school calls because 15 was caught drinking at school and it's still the same principal that had to call your parents.
@jokeymcjokeface: Crime would drop to 0% if police uniforms were scary clown costumes. "Put your hands up and state your favorite balloon animal!"
@NicestHippo: TRUMP: I just killed & ate a homeless man MEDIA: You're a monster TRUMP: This sort of political correctness is what's ruining our country
@imdaintyaf: When you gaze into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you, wraps a towel around itself and screams oh wait that's my neighbor haha Hi Pam!