@mrtruthandsoul: Nice try "Enjoy By" date on bag of broccoli, nice try.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ObscureGent: Stealing the candy is not the issue here. The real issue is why are you feeding your baby candy.
@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: "What did you like best about your last job?" Me: "Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake."
@djdarrellripley: My mom has a rule that we do nothing on Christmas that Jesus didn't do. Apparently, Jesus drank a pitcher of martinis & hit on the caterer..
@SergioValenCo: Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don't know. Inspirational tweets are hard.