@Cali_Kid_Mike: Nice try government. But I'm not taking you back until I know where you've been for the last two weeks.
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@Schmoodles: I finally decided to unfollow someone who hasn't tweeted in a year. They'll probably come back tomorrow & make me look like a real c**t.
@vladchoc: Why should I have to take a first aid course? Why is this on me? Why don't you take a "how to eat sandwiches without choking" course?
@michaelianblack: Any celebrities who are thinking of dying soon, please befriend me so I can relate a moving and humorous anecdote when you pass.
@pungodly: Apparently "I don't like scary movies," is not an appropriate response to being asked to watch a wedding video.