@ComedicBust: Nice try Halloween, I eat candy in the dark and pretend not to be home every night.
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@bananagrvyrd: Sometimes when I look into the sky I get overwhelmed with emotion and eat the nearest entire tree and everything living in that tree
@DanMentos: "I just tried to make reservations at the library" You don't need a res- "Couldn't get one though" Don't do this "They were fully booked"
@WilliamAder: Read the tweet above this one and then the tweet below it. People paid FORTY-FIVE DOLLARS PER SHARE FOR THIS.